


Don't take his Choco Muffin

by Nightalp



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Absolutely silly nicknames, Bucky's part of the Avengers, Established Relationship, F/M, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki and Nick were meant for each other, M/M, Nick's not ... exactly ... human, POV Tony Stark, Possessive Fury, Possessive Loki, Protective Loki, because Fitz/Simmons wanted an autograph, mentioned Agents of Shield, of sorts, post Thor2 and Captain America(Wintersoldier), serious relationship, which means - this is meant to be fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 08:05:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2101944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightalp/pseuds/Nightalp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SHIELD and Hydra are down - what's the worst that can happen?<br/>Yes, exactly - Loki appears all over New York and half of the rest of the USA, just to muck up Tony's plans for a sweet Saturday-night date with Pepper.<br/>(Okay, he actually seems to search for Director Not-So-Dead, but then Tony's not believing it, because, really? Not even the director can have pissed him up so much)<br/>Though ... from what he's experiencing in his own tower (which might need a ritual cleansing after it) he might even be honest for once ...</p><p>(pairing: Nick Fury/Loki)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't take his Choco Muffin

**Author's Note:**

> Really, really wanted to write this story ... hope you like it.  
> It's POV Tony Stark, because I wanted to write snarky Tony when I had him pretty miserably in both my longer fics at the moment.  
> Not exactly pleased with the beginning, but I absolutely love the ending ...
> 
> \------------------------  
> Disclaimer: Well, if they were my characters, the story would go a very different way ...  
> \------------------------

Originally Tony had planned to spend this Saturday night with Pepper, having dinner at this new restaurant she wanted to try out -  _why_ he would never understand; it was Italian and that meant she would order pasta, and there was no way to make pasta taste any different, aside from making in  _not_ taste like pasta anymore, and what, please, would be the  point of  _ that _ ? -, watching a kitschy love movie at a cinema full of other kitschy, hand-holding couples - yes, he could book a cinema. Or he could buy the movie and watch it at home with much better  resolution . But,  _ really _ ?  _ Where would be the fun in that? _ \- and after that they would tumble in their bed and try do find out if they could have as much fun as the stars in the movie h ad (no, they didn’t; they always had much muuuuuuuuch more. He was Tony “sex god” Stark, after all). 

_Originally_ , you understand. For just as he had told Jarvis to book a table at this restaurant he had gotten a call from Natasha. 

And Loki being back and wreaking havoc once more did cancel his dinner plans (and all the other plans, but he didn't exactly mind getting out of shareholder meetings).

So they had assembled once more -  _they_ including Natasha and Clint (he suspected they still worked for Fury even though they had other jobs now and denied it if asked. But, really? SHIELD had been their life, and it would be a cold day in hell when they decided to abandon it), Tony of course (because the kids would never get anything done without him), Stevy boy, his lovely lady Sharon and his side kick with the scary face Bucky, and since Thursday Thor (fuck knows where he had been since the call came; it certainly didn't take the thunder god half-and-a-day to get from the love nest he had in London with his lady-love to New York).

But the thing is? They can't get a hold on Thor's fucking brother.

Not that they don't try. Clint almost had an arrow in his face more often than they can count, and Natasha had even managed to get one of her weapons on him (and wow,  _did they work_ . No, you didn't imagine the sarcasm, because it turned out that growing up as Thor's brother and having been on the business end of Mjölnir at least once to often either got Loki immunity to lightnings or made him invent a spell to save him from it; either way it did  _fucking nothing_ ). Speaking of Thor - he is so  _happy_ that his brother is alive that he can barely brandish his fucking hammer against him.

So the only persons who ever got a real hit in are Sharon - he's always had a soft spot in his heart for such excellent shooters (not counting Hill - that woman is  _scary as hell!_ ); not that he would dare say so in hearing range of captain boy scout or, god forbid, Mr. I-haven't-been-here-for-the-last-few-decades-to-protect-you-and-then-I-actually-hurt-you-and-that’s-why-I-have-to-make-amends (which is great, as long as you are on the same side as this guy) - and Tony himself who had almost gotten blasted out of the sky for using a trick with the repulsors and the unibeam that ended with Loki getting hit with a very big stone (Clint will tell you that it was only as big as a fist, so don't listen to Clint).

But Loki's ability to avoid their weapons isn't even the real problem. No, the real problem is that Loki just doesn't stand still. One day he turned up in Brooklyn (which was when Natasha called him), then he's seen at the waterside where the Triskelon once stood (he barely missed him there, but he had needed to get in the suit first) and then he was at Stark Tower, trying to manipulate Jarvis (as if a whack-job from space-viking-land like him could do that!)!

Since then they chased him through the whole of New York, up to the next state border, then inland where they found him standing over Phil Coulson with a threateningly brandished spear (who had been very much alive, too, and very unhappy to be questioned in this way), but he had flicked out of existence shortly after they arrived.

At least they had gotten some answers this time - after Clint had stopped trying to strangle Agent Agent and Bucky could be convinced that this was really Phil Coulson and not an impostor that he needed to kill to protect his friend and after Tony himself had given autographs to the two sweet scientist in Phil's new crew and the hacker he had immediately invited to work for him if she ever got bored with her actual work - because Phil could tell them what Loki had asked him.

Turned out, the guy was after Fury.

Not that Tony couldn't understand the man but then he thought that  _killing_ the director just for being an asshole might be a  _teeny-weeny little bit_ overkill, even for a manic like Loki. Though he must be a bit brighter than his brother if he had worked out that Fury was still alive.

Knowing what they did now they tried to contact the man and, when that proved to be futile, they called the two man that might just be able to find and reach him in time - Rhodey (who was stationed at a base somewhere in france) and Sam (Tony had repaired his wings some weeks ago, even offered him to make them more like his suit and the man had actually declined; Tony couldn't stand him (he was still not sure if he shouldn’t charge him for the repairs)).

And since then they had tried to contain the bad boy, hoping that he wouldn't be able to charm some alien army out of his sleeve again. But it seemed he was better behaved this time - Natasha had suggested they call Bruce back from his Brasilia tour, but the guy hadn't made much chaos yet and there was no maiming or killing anyone, so they figured calling the Hulk in would just cause more destruction than help.

Though now that didn't seem like such a good idea. They were at Stark Tower, again, and Tony couldn't help a deja-vu feeling as he was  _again_ in the grip of a crazy alien, held up by his throat and about to fly out of the window, just that this time there were several other people standing around that could help him by telling the crazy man where he could find his real target.

Tony would feel much more secure if he didn't knew how much he had annoyed these other persons in the last few days.

"I'm not interested in you telling me that I'm overreacting", growled the villain and his hand shook which unfortunately meant that Tony's teeth clicked together as if shattering from fear - he felt no fear. Really, he was a  _Stark_ , and Starks didn't know what fear even was. "I want to know where Fury is."

Loki was really agitated and Tony just hoped he wouldn't start spitting as he was known to do when giving his great speeches.

He also hoped that Loki wouldn't decide anytime soon that Tony was a bad hostage and that someone else, Captain Spangles for example, would maybe be better.

It was in that moment - the air crackling both from tension and Thor, everyone changing their grip on their weapon(s) so they might better fight with it/them, no words or other noise in the deafening silence of the tower - that, with masterly timing, the elevator door opened with a pleasant  _ting_ and Nick Fury emerged from it.

For a moment the world seemed to stand still - or hang still, in Tony's case, and could please someone rescue him? - before Fury removed a non-existent spot from his immaculate leather mantle and said, in the driest voice Tony had ever heard: "You know, darling, if you wanted to meet me that fucking bad you could have just called."

And Loki - space-viking-alien and brother of the man who still couldn't work a toaster much less a mobile phone - pulled a shiny new Stark-phone out of his leather vest, flicked it open and said: "I really am sorry, choco muffin, but it seems you have forgotten to put your new number in my cell phone."

The next moment got a bit blurry in Tony's memory though he forgave himself since he was being tossed aside like a rag doll - maybe by mistake, maybe fortunately landing on the couch - while Loki went over to the director.

Well,  _went_ \- he actually  _fucking disappeared_ from his spot and reemerged a moment later next to Fury, grabbing for him.

Just that Fury wasn't there anymore.

Okay, even Tony had heard the rumors about Fury not being human, and he knew that for a contemporary Steve's Fury was more that sprightly but he had never really  _believed_ in them.

Until he saw Nick moving so fast he could dislocate a several thousand years in warfare trained  _god_ and then actually starting to fight him hand-to-hand. Tony was no weakling, but he knew that he would never win a round with Thor without his suit, and even Steve lost against the god. Knowing that Thor claimed his brother to be almost as strong as he himself he wouldn't have given Fury a chance in a fair fight.

So maybe he had found a way to limit Loki's strength? Just, the splintering glass table (Pepper would kill him when she found out - the table had been her favorite piece of furniture ... on the other side, he had never liked that thing. Maybe he should get this ugly vase that he couldn't get rid of without angering Pepper, too, up here - so it would be safe in case the two fighters managed to go down the four floors to the room the vase was currently residing in now) and the fist straight through the wall to the kitchen spoke a different language.

"I'm not sure", Bucky said from beside them. "Shouldn't we help him?" He sounded as unsure as Tony felt.

Another chair cracked when Loki smashed it on Fury's head who seemed absolutely unfazed when he landed a kick in Loki's stomach. "Maybe we should wait for a moment longer", Tony stated.

In the end Fury managed to subdue Loki on the living room carpet, only a few meter next to the - repaired; Tony couldn't risk letting anyone fall into it, though he may have used green inlay to fill it - hole the Hulk had made in his last spar with Loki. Wrestled on his back, panting heavily and glowering at the man who kneeled over him, one knee on his stomach, his hands holding Loki's at shoulder height - and even  _Tony_ was aware that  _this_ was no secure hold - he lay there, trying to get his breath back.

"Sir?", Natasha said. "Maybe we should restrain him ...?" She was obviously as scared of what Loki would do in this position as Tony was. (Had he said  _scared_ ? No, he meant  _concerned_ .  _Concerned_ . He was a  _Stark_ , he  _didn't do scared_ )

What Loki did in the end was somewhat unexpected, for he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Fury's, who let him, even let him get a hand free and sling around his neck so he could better hold him there and they shared one of the angriest, most passionate kisses Tony had ever seen, complete with biting and sucking and a  _lot_ of tongue.

Clint made vomiting noises in his corner but for once Tony was too gob smacked to care. "You know,  _I'm_ supposed to be the one with the dangerous taste in bed", he complained to anyone willing to listen (and everyone else in the room, too).

"I thought you dead, you idiotic moron", Loki growled when he eventually got back to breathing again (and wow could this guy hold his breath long - Tony almost wished he could do that, too).

"How the fuck did you even find out?", Fury answered, his voice still cool and distant even though slightly breathless and Tony would really love to know if he was blushing under all that black skin.

"It's been our anniversary at Monday and you didn't call me to make a date. When I came down I found out that SHIELD was destroyed and you supposedly dead." His voice acquired an annoyed tone. "I knew that you weren't dead, but you also weren't wearing my ring and so I was unable to find you."

Tony had been wondering about that ring that the director was wearing under his leather mantle (and under his leather shirt and leather undershirt, he supposed). He had only seen it once, when the director had been called very urgently and had probably forgotten to hide it, but the thing had been a broad gold ring with an emerald embedded - nothing worth short of a small fortune and entirely unlike the director.

"You were supposed to meet me  _last fucking week_ ", Fury spat now and Tony decided that he should probably again pay attention - this was even more fun than poking  _Bruce_ . "I've been sitting on that damned table two fucking hours and  _you motherfucker_ didn't deign to turn up."

"Oh, I'm  _so sorry_ that I had a rather important meeting and couldn't just cancel it. The joys of leading a kingdom, you know?" Sarcasm was Tony's best friend, and it made him wonder which kingdom it was that prancer was ruling these days.

"No, I wouldn't know the fuck about that." If Loki was sarcasm incarnate, then Fury embodied dryness. "But did you really fucking think that fucking with my damn city is the best way to get my attention?"

"It  _worked_ . And I wasn't even out destroying your precious little world - am I to blame that these blundering idiots were following me wherever I went?"

Tony became uncomfortably aware that Loki wasn't wrong - he hadn't caused destruction this time, just chaos, and most of that had been done by the Avengers themselves.

"After what you did the last fucking time you"

"Last time? I remember that being agreed upon by"

"You fucker were several days too early"

"Oh, I'm so sorry that the alien overlord that we were trying to bring down wasn't acting upon the plan he didn't even knew about and"

Watching that was definitely better than even watching Pepper play the press. Unfortunately Natasha had to spoil their fun. "I think we aren't needed here anymore", she said, so quietly they were only hearing it over the coms.

"What?", Tony made, while Steve asked: "Are you sure we should leave the two of them alone? Loki is a villainous sorcerer, and director Fury is just a human."

After what he had seen Fury do only a few minutes ago Tony wasn't sure how Steve could sound as if the  _director_ needed  _protection_ . 

But before he could say anything Clint said, his voice one of unbelieving disgust: "I'm not sure how it looks to you, guys, but to me this seems like a lover's spar. And we all know how this is going to end. Are you  _sure_ you want to  _see that_ ?"

An image plopped up in Tony's head, and he fervently wished brain bleach was an existing thing. "Out here", he ordered - he really didn't want to be around when Steve figured out what they were speaking about. "Really, come one guys, it's bad enough that I have to get the cleaning service up here." Or maybe he should bring the whole building down and build it new. After a ritual cleansing and exorcising of the spot it had stood on.

When the elevator doors closed behind the Avengers he got a last look at the pair on his carpet and he really hadn't wanted to see Loki rub his now very tight trouser-covered groin at Fury's leather trousers.

And then they closed, unfortunately not fast enough to block out the last words.

"Are you sure you want to do that  _here_ ?"

"Shut your mouth and fuck me in the floor or I  _will_ destroy New York."

At least he now knew what project to use to get Bruce back to New York. Working on brain bleach should be interesting enough for the man, shouldn't it?


End file.
